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Friday, December 30, 2005

 

"Brit Jew marries dolphin"

Ever since Massachusetts legalized same sex marriage, I've been tempted to marry myself. I think I'd make a good match. Though I do have a few annoying habits, I think they are all things that I can tolerate. Besides, I know I can trust me to stick with me when times get tough.


The benefits of marriage are many: my tax rates would be lower; my SS benefits would be higher; and whenever my boss wanted me to stay late or travel, I could easily decline, honestly able to say that my spouse wants me home.


I haven't done it yet, though, in part because of inertia - why buy the cow when the milk is free? - and in part because of a certain modesty. I didn't want my very special relationship to become a public spectacle. However, now that a woman has married a dolphin, the latter objection seems rather moot.


I may still have to force the issue, and threaten to leave myself, in order to overcome the inertia problem... but at least now I have hope. Thank you, dolphin bride! Like you, I am not a pervert!


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